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ME LOVE COOKIES

OC Gal fo Life; 909 is Poop

Life is short but sweet for certain.

Bridezilla...?

I work with emotionally disturbed children as a behavioral coach, love my fam, cherish my friends, and adore my man. When I am not busy being a nerd, I definitely like to have fun.

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February 21st, 2006

Yesterday I played hookie from work. First reason was because B-Dizzle was off and he is a cool dude to spend time with. Second reason was to go with my cousin Jessica (she is getting married in March of '07), Mom, and Aunt Rosie to a bridal store in Westminister. My plan was to go support Jessica and start browsing for ideas. I had no intention of putting myself in any dresses because I am not at a weight that I feel comfortable in yet. Plus, I have PLENTY of time to find what I want.

Well...

My Mom and I were browsing as Jessica was gathering her selections. I found one dress that was super pretty but it had gold embroidery. I know for sure my wedding will be filled with purple so gold is not allowed. Then my heart stopped beating and I met my match. I don't want to describe it too much as I want my future hubby to be surprised. It is strapless, sweetheart neckline, and has purple embroidered flowers. It is awesome. I didn't want to try it on but the sales lady said that the styles can be discontinued at any time so not to hesitate with ordering. Plus, the dress takes 5-6 months to make and be shipped. Unfortuneately the dress size at the location was a size 8. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too small for my butt at this time. The lady managed to clip me into it and said not to worry about not fitting. I walked out into the mirrors and was in heaven. They pulled my hair up and put a cathedral veil on me. It was surreal and I almost burst into tears from being so overwhelmed with emotions. My family got teary eyed and they all knew this was it.

I tried on one other dress to see a different neckline and hated it. My Mom gave me the thumbs up to order and pay the bill. Unfortuneately the measurement time came next. I am on my way to losing weight and my goal is to weigh 135 or less, as this is my normal healthy weight. My Mom was hopeful and wanted to order a much smaller dress as she believes I will be a size 8 by the wedding at the rate I am going (ahhahahahaha, funny joke Mom). I commited to a size and half smaller than I am now. I probably could have gone one more lower but I have gigantic boobs that need a lot of material. Anywho, they said they can make the dress 2-3 sizes smaller if I do lose a lot more than expected.

The sales lady was super in my face about losing weight. She asked if I was committed, what diet I was on, and what gym I belonged to. WHORE. Yes, I know the dress is an ass load of money and I will have a fit if I don't fit. Trust me woman, I want to wear that dress.

So there it is, my huge incentive to back off of brownie sundaes and cake. Wish me luck!!!!!

I also found some bridesmaid dress ideas and formally asked all my bridesmaids. I wish I could ask more people to be bridesmaids but 6 seems like a large number as it is. Like Brandon has mentioned, we can't make everyone happy through this whole process.

October 4th, 2005

GO EAT

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I know so many of us blow money on eating out. SOOOOO EAT EAT EAT OUT WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5TH! Certain restaurants are donating their profits tomorrow night to Hurrican Katrina relief.

Check out the redcross website for participating restaurants in your area and pack it down for the peeps! Thanks ROOMIE for the idea!
http://www.redcross.org/sponsors/howtohelp/dollars.html?tbclk=100210002370461.4862.574

August 17th, 2005

(no subject)

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Why does Six Feet Under have to end? The freakin series finale is this Sunday! How can this happen during my birthday month and birthday week?! I protest!

I love this show because it has made me feel like I am not crazy for freaking out about death when I had to deal with it. Since that has been a huge theme in my life for the past few years I have grown fond of the show.

Sigh :(

May 9th, 2005

American Idol Rambling

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Since I finally discovered how to post pictures in my LJ (I am computer retarded), I have a few things to share about my obsession with American Idol. I found this disgusting picture of Constantine with Pamela Anderson. Hey Constantine, Pamela Anderson does not want to mount your slimy face so wipe that disgusting do-me grin off of it. Sick.

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Then there is a picture of the top 4 that makes me nautious. Who can photoshop Fuckin Federov out of the picture or make his neck shrink? It would be such a great picture without him.

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May 8th, 2005

Faster, faster...

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May 5th, 2005

The countdown begins...

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Only 21 days until I go to Hawaii. Wohooooooo!

May 3rd, 2005

(no subject)

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Stolen from the Spuffy...

[] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[X] I've consumed alcohol
[] I've run away from home
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[X] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb. (If he interrupts the OC ever again, I will knee him in the nuts).
[X] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[] I am for Bush.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books. (Brandon has enough for me)
[X] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[] I open up to others easily.
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world
[X] I watch the news.
[X] I own over 5 rap CDs.(Heck yes I do! Gotta love Dre, Snoop, 50)
[X] I own an iPod or MP3
[X] I own something from Hot Topic
[X] I love Disney Movies. (Bambi!)
[X] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[] I don't kill bugs. (At our place I have turned into a spider hunter. Here comes the shoe!)
[X] I curse regularly. (Fuck is my favorite these days)
[X] I paid for that cell phone ring. (JT baby)
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[X] I love Spam. (The food Spam is the shit. Not really, but my Dad used to make it all the time. Weird.)
[X] I cook well. (I am learning but better at the baking thing)
[X] I would wear pajamas to school. (I wore PJ's daily during high school for Colorguard practice. My favorite was blue plaid.)
[X] I own something from Abercrombie.
[X] I have a job.
[X] I love Martha Stewart. (I don't love her I just love her peanut butter surprise cookie recipe on her website.)
[X] I am in lovelust.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[X] I am self conscious.
[X] I like to laugh.
[] I smoke a pack a day.
[] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[X] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (I got in trouble in elementary school for eating a whole pack and smelling like medicine.)
[] I can't swallow pills.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[X] I eat fast food weekly. (Hate to admit it but yes. Mostly sandwich places.)
[X] I have many scars. (Crazy kids leave their marks.)
[x] I've been out of this country. (Mexico, does that count?)
[X] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[X] I love white chocolate.
[X] I bite my nails.(My fake ones covered up bad habit)
[X] I am comfortable with being me. (almost)
[X] I play video games. (Finding Nemo is the shit on gameboy advance!)
[] I'm single
[X] I'm in a relationship (Love the B-Dizzle)
[X] I've gotten lost in my own city. (I can get lost anywhere anytime)
[X] I've seen a shooting star.
[X] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[] I Had a serious Surgery
[X] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[] Hugged a stranger
[X] Been in a fist fight (Justine Klewer and I came close to throwing down over Adam Miller in 9th grade)
[] Been arrested
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[] Made out in an elevator
[X] Swore at your parents (Now my Mom swears at me! Werid to her the Momster say the F-bomb)
[X] Kicked a guy where it hurts (I threw a snowball at Jeff's nuts, SORRY! By accident I moved my knee in a motion that tapped Brandon)
[X] Been close to love
[X] Been to a casino
[] Been skydiving
[] Broken a bone
[X] Skipped school
[X] Flashed someone
[X] Saw a therapist
[X] Done the splits (Colorguard baby! It is a sport damn it!)
[] Played spin the bottle
[] Gotten stitches
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[X] Bitten someone (I bit my sister when I was a baby on the thigh. My mom said she was teasing me and I fought back :))
[] Been to Niagara Falls
[] Gotten the chicken pox (I think I am immune or something. I have been exposed so many times but never gotten them.)
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex
[] Crashed into a friend's car
[X] Ridden in a taxi
[] Shoplifted
[] Been fired
[X] Stole something from your job (Everyone that came to visit me when I worked at Hallmark got a 60% discount. Against store policy)
[X] Gone on a blind date
[X] Lied to a friend
[X] Had a crush on a teacher (B-Dizzle!)
[] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[] Been to Europe
[X] Slept with a co-worker
[] Been married
[] Gotten divorced
[] Had children
[X] Saw someone dying
[] Been to Africa
[] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[] Been to Canada
[X] Been to Mexico
[X] Been on a plane
[X] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[X] Thrown up in a bar
[] Had a one-night stand
[x] Eaten Sushi (never again)
[X] Been snowboarding
[] Been Skiing
[X] Met someone in person from the internet
[] Been to a motocross show
[X] Lost a child (Lost a Gomez kid at Raging Waters. Almost had a heart attack)
[X] Gone to college
[X] Graduated college
[] Done hard drugs
[] Taken painkillers
[x] Given a lap dance
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[X] Miss someone right now

April 28th, 2005

Constantine, bo-hoooo

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Last night rocked. CONSTANTINE (AKA SLIME BALL MOTHER GREASER) GOT VOTED OFF OF AMERICAN IDOL. Sweet. I will throw a party when Federov finally goes down...

April 18th, 2005

Free Vegas Tix

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If anyone has extra or can find tickets for the free Vegas concert on 4th of July weekend, give to me! Please!

March 28th, 2005

I ate a bunny

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I made a horrible mistake and ate some bunny cake that was supposed to be shared with the neighbor. Ali, I love you, please don't hurt me. If it makes you feel better I will bake something for you this weekend and if I see any cadburry eggs I will gladly purchase them for you.

You know me, I can really pack it down.

March 21st, 2005

I had this exciting trip to Boston planned with my friend Emily. We were going to visit our friend Michelle who is going to grad school at Boston University. I was also going to hang out with the Kellster in Dorchester for a day or so. Well, with all the family drama going on and deadlines at both school and work in full force I am a bit maxed out. I decided to cancel my reservation and now have credit to use it towards another ticket before February 2006. I could still go visit the Mac! Maybe this summer? Maybe another posse member will join me?

I told Emily about cancelling my trip and she was not a happy person. She understood but thought it would be good for me to get away for awhile. I definitely agree but going across the country right now is a bit too far away. Plus, I don't have an ass load of money right now with paying taxes and booking hotels for my Hawaii trip. I suck!

This weekend was tons of fun. Spuffy is the shiznick eventhough she talked trash on my puffy-white-fur lined jacket. Shit, it was raining and below 70. That is fucking freezing for the OC! I think I caught a cold! Evidently New York is slightly cooler, whatever.

Time to study for a LARGE midterm I have Thursday. Thank God I can take a break for 24! Yessssssssssss!

February 15th, 2005

Clay made my day

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Scrubs was the best ever tonight because of Clay Aiken. I know Brandon loved it too!

I have too much reading to do, my head is going to blow up. I need a drink or some Seth Cohen.

February 11th, 2005

Survey time!

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I am trying to figure out what to eat for dinner and avoid any homework. I decided to fill out this survey Ali sent because it will take me a significant amount of time (I only type 1 word per minute):


Welcome to the Winter 2005 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire email and paste it onto a new email that you'll send. Change all the answers (obviously)
so that they apply to you, and then send this to a whole bunch of people,
including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will
learn a lot of little things about your friends (and maybe family)if you did not know them already.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
I hate waking up early. I hit my snooze button at least 4 times. Usually I wake up at 8 to be at work by 10. Sundays are my day off so I will not rise until after 12 if possible!!!!!!!!!
2. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds. Bling, bling!
3. What was the last film you saw at the theatre?
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, just like Ali. I really want to see the Aviator.
4. What is your favorite TV show?
The OC bitches! Seth is my homey. 24 has just been added to my list because I love Jack! I am still partial to 90210 and Party of Five. Of course six feet under kicks ass too. I live for TV!
5. What did you have for breakfast?
A cookie, I had to run out the door! Cookies are delicious and nutritious!
6. What is your middle name?
Mary
7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Mexican, I have to side with my people. My Grandma's cooking is awesome. Italian is pretty close as well.
8. What foods do you dislike?
I so agree with Ali: suishi is like death to me. I ate it once and puked at the restaurant. I am not sure if I puked because of the suishi or the four sake bombs I downed, but I will blame on the raw fishies.
9. What is your favorite snack chip flavor?
BBQ!
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
The two new Bright Eyes CD's of course. But JT always remains high on the list.
11. What kind of car do you drive?
'04 Volkswagon dark gray beetle. His name is Gary and he loves me!
12. Favorite sandwich?
Grilled cheese! I make a mean one that I plan to copyright!
13. What characteristics do you despise?
Dishonesty, self-centered.
14. Favorite item of clothing?
My juicy velour purple sweatshirt, purple uggs, and jeans.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you
go?
Ireland. I love green!
16. What does your bathroom look like?
Our bano is very girly. It has purple and turqouise towels and mats. Our shower curtain has funky circles with the same colors. We have some Winnie the Pooh decor to give it the homey feel.
17. Favorite brand of clothing?
Shit, do I have to say it? JUICY couture. I love to shop so it is mostly any and everything.
18. Where would you retire to?
A shopping mall.
19. Favorite time of day?
12am, time for bed!
20. What was your most memorable birthday?
My 23rd. We went to Chomp's in Fullerton and I passed out at 9pm. Awesome. I partied the next day in LA and wore a cute red dress that I wish I could fit in these days. It was also the my last birthday with my Dad. He did his cute phone call and told me to have fun. I remember I was hung over and puked in the gutter in front of my parent's house. He asked me if I drank a glass of beer or an entire keg. Miss that guy.
21. Where were you born?
Fullerton, CA
22. Favorite sport to watch?
Colorguard because it is a sport, damnit!
23. Whom do you least expect to send this back to you?
Brandon because he is slow :)
24. Person you expect to send it back first????
Jen!
25. What fabric detergent do you use?
one's that are on sale
26. Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi, but I agree with Ali that Dr. Pepper is way better. I don't know about this whole diet dr pepper vanilla cherry thing. Too much flava!
27. Favorite alcoholic beverage?
Hmmm, I love berry cider and scooby snack shots.

February 6th, 2005

Why are the weekends so short? I need more sleep, more time to do absolutely nothing, more time to study, and more time to think about how I need to do so many things. Boooo.

I helped my cousin's out this weekend with picking out furniture for their new place. Lucky ladies are getting all new furniture. Our hand-me-down furniture still is the bomb! It has more love!

I saw Natasha and Sean on Friday at my Mom's. My Mom told Natasha to ask me about Brandon. Natasha wasn't very excited to hear that my time with her might be lessened because of a boy. I had to promise I would still be her best friend and have sleepover McDonald nights. She also informed me she has a boyfriend named Jarod that toots in church. I told her boys that fart are icky and she walked away in a huff. Oops.

I watched the UFC with Brandon and his roommate. It was not surprisingly violent but it was exciting to watch. I was so excited when a Belarussian won! I had to root for Boris & Natasha's people! The guy looked like a mountain man and according to Steve he is also a man-whore with the ladies. I pray that isn't a genetic component for all Belarussian men. My poor Sean!

All right, time for some sleep....

February 4th, 2005

Harass Kelly!!!!!!!!

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Kelly just called me with some AMAZING news. Don't let her be a pansy and hide it! Find her and squeeze it out of her immediately!!!!!!!

I also told Kelly I will be going out to Boston April 7-10. My friend Emily wanted to fly out to see our friend Michelle who is at grad school at Boston Univ. Her Dad is flying us out there with his frequent flyer miles. All I know is that we have a place to stay, my ticket has been purchased for me, and I get to drive to New York too! I will get to see Kelly! Zang!

Saw Brandon last night, yea! I am going to watch some wrestle/wrastle show on Saturday. I am trying to learn, I really am. All I know is that there will be beer so I think I can survive and hopefully learn something. I am also baking cookies, what do you recommend people? I need to expand my horizons...

February 2nd, 2005

Just got home from a long day of work and SCHOOL. I thought I would make it a goal to be more vocal in class this semester. I am trying to improve on the whole shyness thing. Anyways, my dumb ass raises my hand when the professor asks if anyone bought the reader of articles for the course. Lucky me got assigned a special assignment to present to the class next week. Awesome. My dreams to be heard in class are coming true, zippy.

I went and saw my Mommy today. She has been sick lately with a sinus infection but is doing better. She asked about Brandon with a huge grin on her face. She knows everything without me even speaking! How do parents do that!? She says I have been in a good and sweet mood lately, so she knew something was up. She was glad to hear about his lack of criminal record and how happy he makes me. I think she says a rosary every night in hopes I will meet a boy that is NORMAL. Don't mess with the rosary.


Tomorrow is my day off!!!!!!!!!!!! Friday too! Miraculous! Going to watch the OC tomorrow with Brandawg and his roomie. Should be good.

February 1st, 2005

Uggs with a skirt?

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All right, this will be a lame entry but I need some advice. I got a pair of purple Uggs for Christmas

http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2792101&boutique=ugg_australia&category=2376778~2372811~2373630~2373636~2375178&NextStyleID=2836792&PrevStyleID=2792092

and I love them. I would always talk trash on people that wore them with skirts because it makes absolutely no sense to have sheepskin on your feet and your legs exposed. Well, my cousin found this dress at the rack that was super cheap ($20) and I have wanted it since I saw it Vegas

http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product.asp?StyleID=2856085&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=juicy%20couture%20%3E%20In%20All%20Categories

I was advised to wear it with my Uggs. I tried it on and I can't decide if I look like I am ready for bed or comfy cute. Jen says she doesn't vote for it, what do you all think? Should I retrun it? I AM IN CRISIS! THE WORLD MAY END IF I DON'T FIND AN ANSWER!
I am getting ready to run out the door to work and I hoping today doesn't make me want to cry again. Yesterday was awful. I think the children ate crazy wheaties in the morning with nutso OJ. I am only responsible for working with one kid in the group of 10, but there are bunch of new people that started and they are pretty clueless. I worked a 12 hour day and during my lunch I got called back in to work. Ewww.

I also decided I am going to take 6 units instead of 9 for school. Last semester was not a peach with working full time and being in a master's program full time. I will still graduate at the same time only I will take a summer session. Not bad.

At least yesterday ended with an awesome episode of 24 and a phone call from Brandon. My day ended perfectly :)

Jen burned me some Bright Eyes stuff...me gusta!

January 25th, 2005

I don't smell funny!

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I have to recommend a new perfume I bought today called Escada Rockin' Rio. It smells like peaches mixed with the Ralph blue bottle perfume. Love it. I also went to Victoria's secret for a new pink bra because I had to celebrate.

Celebrate what? I already knew I was most likely going to get promoted this summer but hadn't seen the actual lay-out for what it would look like. Evidently, the program (TBS) I work with made our agency an ass load of money last year. The state gave our agency more money to expand the program. My boss is supposed to be running the program since she is a licensed therapist but everyone knows I do the majority of the work. When I graduate the agency wants me to completely run the program and do therapy with clients. They found a way for me to take over the program in July with minimal support from my boss. That means a 10% raise, my own office (finally!), and I get to hire an additional 3 people. I also won't be working with kids anymore but teaching the other coaches how to work with the kids. That is more than okay with me since I will be starting my internship at the time I am promoted. It will be way less stress because I won't be spread so thin like I am now. Plus, I will be getting paid more money and expanding my resume. I will also be working more with the county which will open up more job connections when I graduate.

Yipee!

January 23rd, 2005

I need to read the label...

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My weekend was overall a good one. I was either sleeping, watching the OC season 1, or laughing my ass off. Good times. Friday I started losing my voice and I decided to take some robitussin. I really need to remember to read things, especially medicine labels. I felt awesome on Saturday but took some more on Saturday after I got home from my fun evening to keep my illness away. I read the label and you are not supposed to exceed 4 doses in a 24 hour period. By noon today the bottle (small) was almost gone. I passed out for some time and even feel asleep while watching the OC!!!!!!! No more cough medicine for me, EVAR. I couldn't retain my attention for Seth Cohen and that indicates a serious problem. Yes, I am an idiot and need to learn how to read.

I watched Desperate Housewives this evening and I love that show more and more. I laughed when they played, "Dust in the Wind" at the school dance. It made Jen and I think of Old School. You're my boy BLUE!

January 18th, 2005

I just realized I go back to school in less than 2 weeks! Arghh! Ick! Ew! Suppposedly I am taking the last set of challenging classes in the program (I will be learning how to diagnose all you crazy people, learn how to be an ethical therapist, and how to do family therapy). I also have to start selecting and interviewing for my practicum/internship site. I start in August but you have to have a site by the beginning of May. I either want to work at CHOC doing mostly family therapy and CBT with kids or work at a high school (i need a break from the little ones) doing crisis counseling. I think my first choice will be CHOC but only if the hours are obtainable (I have to do at least 10 hours of therapy a week, plus 3 hours of supervision, and at least 1 hour of group/family therapy). We will see...

Since time is ticking before I go back to graduate madness, I need to party it up! Suggestions? My cousin wants me to go to Vegas for superbowl weekend but I am too broke for that (paying for tuition, books that will cost me $900 this semester, a plane ticket for Hawaii, and saving for a trip to Mexico in April I have no money foo!). Help! I must have fun!

January 17th, 2005

crazy kids!

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I saved a child from getting beat up badly today but it was not at the crazy farm. It was right here in our own neighborhood!!!!! I got home from work and saw some punk ass kid pummeling a little kid down the street (the little kid that calls me, "lady.") I said, "Hey!" The bully kid looked at me in horror. I decided to use some of my work skills and said, "Are you bored? Did you know today is one of the coolest days on earth?" All the kiddies got sucked in. I then said, "It is the day that all you kids will get to meet a police officer after I call the cops on people that hit little people." The bullies eyes got bigger and the other kids said the traditional, "ooooooooo, busted." He tried to take off running and I said, "Awww, we just met! You must be going to go get more friends to meet me and the cops! No worries, I will give them your description and they will find you to introduce themselves! Have fun and remember to wear your helmet!" I have never seen a kid run so fast. Luckily the little guy was okay and it was a good show for all.

Bullies suck!

January 13th, 2005

brrrrr.....cold baths suck!

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Today was an eventful and very far from boring day at work. We took the kids bowling at Concourse in Anaheim. At first, the kiddos were AWESOME. My little Cyrus was encouraging his peers, all the kids were giving out high 5's, and following adult directions with no hesitation. That lasted for about an hour but all good things must come to an end. Unfortunately one group of kids finished their game before the other group. Just a reminder, each and every kid has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). So when there is nothing to do, they have no ability to entertain themselves and don't want to listen to your suggestions. I did everything to having thumb wars, rock/paper/scissors, tick tack toe, and singing. After 2 minutes the kids were out of control. Next thing I knew bowling balls were flying around and not down the lane. One kid grabbed a copy of OC weekly that was on a table and of course it had a picture of a scantilly clad woman on the inside. The kids freaked and ran around the bowling alley with it. When these occassions happen, adults want to turn strict-dictator on the kids. I have tried this in the past but if there aren't enough people to deal with the explosions from it, watch out for flying objects at your head. Unfortuneately, one of my inexperienced co-workers took this approach and all hell broke loose. I ended up chasing a kid in the parking lot but luckily I have a good relationship with him and he came back with few problems. We of course were getting the stares and looks from bystanders. Kind of sad that these kids go from fitting in perfectly in the crowd to standing out within minutes. Things only got better when one of the kids started freaking out in the van. He decided to attempt to break the van window with his head. He soon found out he couldn't be successful and was able to stop. Awesome.

Since it was a first class RAD day, I decided to take a bath this evening after the OC to simmer down. I lit some candles and turned on a coldplay, alicia keys, and lauryn hill mix. I left the hot bathwater running and when I returned, it was ice cold. Bastard plumbing!!!!!!! So, since it smelled so delightful (Victoria Secret Secret Crush Bathbubbles) I thought I would attempt to relax in the mixture of cold and hot. It was lukewarm for awhile but wasn't too fun.

Not too many plans for the weekend. I have tomorrow (Happy Birthday Brandawg!) off, yippeee! I am going to take time to do girly things like get my nails done and color all my gray hairs. Sadly, Kelly is leaving Saturday AM :( We will definitely been hanging out tomorrow night before she leaves. The rest of the weekend, I have to work with Cyrus and Jacob's families. I only work 4 hour shifts and I love going in family homes. Way more fun than the crazy farm. No other plans but hope to get some extra sleep and maybe get some hot water for a nice bath!

Oh ya, some lucky bastard won the lottery at a 7-11 down the street from our place. Damnit! If I only ever bought lottery tickets! I swear I would have shared with you all the money after I bought Justin Timberlake as my personal slave and Adam Brody for my personal geek!

January 12th, 2005

Hawaii: Here we come!

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Bridezilla...?
Today I did something exciting: I planned a trip to Hawaii with my friend Joy! She will be flying out for her friend's wedding on May 25th and I will fly out the 27th after I finish finals. We will return on June 7th! So many days! I won't know what to do with myself! Joy lived in Hawaii for a year after she finished her undergrad and before graduate school. She knows where all the fun is and trouble too, my kind of girl:) She found a good rate for the flight, $330 round trip! Deal!

Now I have to think about wearing a bathing suit. Basically if I run to work everyday and eat ice cubes with wheat grass I will look less like a beached whale while catching some sun in Hawaii. Seriously, I need to start exercising more. Who wants to make my ass do it? You know I am a stubborn butt when it comes to healthy things. Kick my ass! Make me walk to the post office! Make me run to the grocery store for milk!

I do think I am going to try to give up red meat at least. Not that it is a magical weight loss tool but those who eat a lot of red meat are more susceptible to colon cancer. Read up on this cancer, it is totally treatable when in its early stages
http://www.colorectal-cancer.net/ Let any family or friend know that is in the 45+ year old range about having a colonoscopy! Refer them to this website to educate them!

January 11th, 2005

Almost a year...

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Bridezilla...?
I got through the holidays this year and I thought I was in the home stretch. My days would be easier and remembering my Dad would be less painful. Tonight it all crept up on me again out of nowhere. It started when I was looking at pictures from Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. I am greatful my Mom and I have grown really close. I can definitely tell in the pictures. It felt wrong looking at the pictures because my Dad wasn't in them. I guess I keep thinking I am going to go home and he will be in his chair. He and my Mom will be snuggling on the couch like they always did. He would make his sarcastic jokes, tell me to save my pennies, and stop buying handbags :) I found this awesome picture of him today and just cried. Last January marks him being in and out of the hospital. Last Valentine's day was the first time I realized how short life really can be because I finally recognized that I had to say goodbye to him. March 5 will be the year anniversary of his passing. So, I will warn you all, I may start acting funky. Well, funkier than my crazy self. I wish I was stronger and could pick myself up a little better but my off-days are coming back around.

I am frustrated that I still cry the way I do. I work with kids that never knew their Dads or the Dad they knew beat the crap out of them. I should be greatful for the 23 years I had and not feel like I got cheated. I should be okay with the fact that I walked with my Dad down the aisle of a church wearing black and he in a coffin before I got the opportunity to walk with him in a tux and me in a wedding dress.

I should be okay with how lucky I am to have the family and friends that I do. My job is awesome and I am pursuing a career that I am more confident in than I have ever been. I am in a graduate program that motivates me and I enjoy. Yet, I focus on what is missing...pisses me off! I guess today was just one of those days where chocolate is greatly needed:) Things always look better in the morning, I will just wait for that.

November 9th, 2004

Been awhile...

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Bridezilla...?
Kelly's posting inspired me to check in on my pals. Sorry I haven't written for awhile, things have been super crazy:) Went to the VEGAS for Halloween and had tons of fun. Won some money on the wheel of fortune quarter slots. I won 1,000 quarters! I was smart, and did not continue to gamble. I became an intelligent business woman and made a lifelong valuable investment with my winnings: I went shopping :) I went to the brand new juicy couture store at the Caesar's mall. I bought a handbag that I have been wanting and a velour blackberry jacket. Yes, people, I spent it all there. I know I should be helping world peace, but I will save that for next time. I also made out with some hotties which was fun. Good to be single and in Vegas! I stopped crying about not having a boyfriend!

School has been going well, better than I thought it would. So far, I have gotten A's on my papers and exams. Felt good because I was really doubting myself going into the semester. I think I can do it now :)

Work is fun and adventurous as always. I get to work with poopie pants again! Exciting! He is getting ready to go home to his family, so I get to help him prepare.

Home is falling apart, sort of :) Our dryer is broken and our dining lamp is broken. I know the lamp is not a necessity because we have plenty of other light. Just something to put on my Christmas list. The dryer won't get hot, which means my grandma chonies have to air dry for now. Fortuneately, we only live 10 minutes from our parent's home, so I am off to do some loads of laundry after school tonight. This is the kind of stuff that makes me miss my Dad a bit more. He would have known how to fix the dryer or would have come over to fix it. Kinda weird how little things bring that up. But, it is good to remember these are little things in the scope of the big world, and can and will eventually be fixed. I wish I had the energy and time to fix things immediately, but I have to focus on getting through school, work, and helping myself and family over the holidays. I definitely am trying to learn from this past year: don't sweat the small stuff.

All right, that is my wisdom for the day. Miss everyone!

September 9th, 2004

Compassion? Anybody out there know what it means?!!!! Mind you, I work with kids that have no idea how to communicate with people other than throwing a radio or chucking a crap bomb when they are pissed off. I have empathy and tolerance but not for adults that should be old enough to give a crap about other people.

Whammy #1: I am eagerly walking to my car after a long day of school and work. I was super duper excited to get in my Gary and race home to prepare for "Joey." I look up and see an old friend, more like acquaintence now, from high school. I thought it would be a "Hi" and quick shoot-the-shit session. No luck. After a minute run down about what classes we were taking, she proceeds to tell me her Aunt has only 3 months to live because she has cancer. She tells me all the details of her Aunt's illness. She then asks how she should act when she goes to the hospital and that she is really horrified of visiting because sick people scare her. I guess my sunglasses hid the fact that I was about to burst into tears because of course I am having flashbacks about my Dad. I guess she thought that I am an "expert" in watching people die from cancer. I might have been able to welcome the conversation if I wasn't caught off guard and it wasn't the only topic of in-depth conversation that she could initiate with me of all people. For all you VCP members, I know you will be able to figure out who this is. Hell, I love helping people but things are still a little too fresh for me to not be impacted. Oh, and the conversation ended with her saying she had to get to class the sentence after she described the location of the cancer. Rad.

Whammy #2: This is a morbidly obese whammy...I just finished talking to Brandawg on the phone to set up our eventful Friday evening, when my phone rang again. It was a 909 number and I assumed it might be Mr. 909 again. No such luck. It was my ex, Joaquin.

Many of you, even my best buds, know little about that relationship and for good reason. A little history: We stopped dating over a year ago, praise Jesus. I met him when he my supervisor at work. He basically started professing his love for me when I lost interest because I never saw him due to his busy schedule with law school (in addition, he is a bastard). Anyways, we were dating when I was going through a lot of stress finishing up my bachelor's, working 2 jobs, and watching my Dad battle cancer. My mind was not clear and I ended up holding on to him just because it was comfortable. The entire time we dated, he wasn't very affectionate, empathetic, or compassionate. At that time, I didn't want to focus on my Dad so it made it easier to be with a person that kept my head out of my heart.The whole time we dated and before we dated, a co-worker had a crush on him. She was pretty but was a psycho path. She would "happen" to show up at restaurants that we would go to after work and I heard rumors they had something going on in the past. Never really fixated on it because we had many other problems. He also said he was repulsed by her and had no interest in her. Once I finally came out of the obvious coma I was in, I lost interest and broke it off. For some reason (my extra neediness and emptiness), I called him when my Dad passed away. He didn't call me back for weeks and his response was, "Well, leave me a message if you need something but I am busy so I probably won't call you back. Sorry." What a winner!!!!!!!! I later found out from a mutual friend, that Joaquin had been dating Martha (crazy psycho co-worker) for quite some time.

He called to check up on me but of course got off topic to talk about Martha. I don't think he really called to find out about me but to rub it in my face that Martha got fake boobs and they were in love. He said he is glad things didn't work out between us and I said the feeling is mutual. Have fun crazy bitches, you make a great pair! What kind of bastard calls to rub shit like that in my face! Are there any normal hurley-take-me-down-to-paradise-city boys out there for me?!


For all you future teachers, please incorporate some compassion definitions and examples of what bastard-bitch non-compassionate people are when you work with the kiddies. Please feel free to ask me to come be a guest speaker in your classroom because I have some super examples!

September 8th, 2004

boris and natasha!

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Bridezilla...?
I am so excited and yet feel so old because my 5, almost 6, year old nephew started kindergarten and my 4 year old niece started pre-school on Tuesday! My sister says she worries about Natasha (her anniversary of her adoption from Belarus will be 2 years this January) the most. Natasha, to say it in one word, is a firecracker. At 4, she agrees to disagree and definitely knows how to stand up for herself. When her brother Sean Boris (his adoption anniversary was in July and it was 4 years) attempts to hide her beloved bunny from her behind the washer or refridgerator she says, "Sean you are not funny with my bunny honey!" She has also declared she is a "crat," Natasha's shortened term for democrat, to solely irritate my sister and disagree with her brother. My sister convinced Sean being a republican is a good thing (ha!) and Sean is a proud George Bush supporter. Natasha says, "I don't like George Washington Bush. Kerry is cool." Sean continues to show signs he will probably be the person that invents wireless electricity. His fascination with drawing floor plans with lights and fans along with how the outlets coordinate and connect continue to be his passion. Last year he was a light (wore a lampshade) for Halloween. This year, he hopes to be a fan. When he visited mine and Jen's place (sorry English majors if I used inappropriate grammar), he was said he liked my house because I had a cool air conditioner and fan. Rad.

Love my little people! Being the fun auntie rocks :)
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